Does My Mother Miss the Touch Of a Man?

momMy mum divorced my dad 2.7 decades back. My father slept around with numerous women – friends, relatives, hoes. He eventually left us to hook up with a prostitute. I never understood that. My mum was the perfect wife – but I guess being the perfect wife doesn’t count. He loved sleeping around with women. When my mum confronted him, he brazenly said: “I need variety”.

The irony was that the prostitute was also a lawyer and she got my parents divorced. Mum tried her best to make the marriage work for 14 years until one night she told dad to get out of the house. He was shocked. He never thought she would say that. He thought he’d threaten her and responded, “I will leave.” Mom looked straight into his eyes and said: “The door is right there.” After he left that night, he never turned back or returned home. Mum heaved a sigh of relief. She was done being a part of a verbal, physical, and emotionally abusive marriage.

From 1992, she’s been single. And I wonder, does she miss being with a man? I am sure she does. Ever since I became an adult, I have had several flings. Now that I am married, I think about her all the time and the fact that she doesn’t have a partner. I wonder what it must be like to have no sex, no caresses, no hugs, no reassurances, no moral support, no laughter, no good times with your better half. It must be so sad for her.

But all she looks forward to is seeing me, being with me, going on adventures with me, and having the time of her life with me. Recently, an old flame of hers reached out to her and seems like he’s been trying his best to rekindle the magic between them. But for some reason, she isn’t interested anymore. I wonder why. She told me he was the first love of her life and shared her first kiss with him. I was ecstatic when I heard he reached out to her. I started dreaming. Dreaming of her reuniting with him, meeting him, seeing her be happy with a man, seeing her blush. I always fantasize about being able to rewind time. If I could, it would be for her to not get married to my dad, but to someone that she loved, so she could live a beautiful life.

I want her to be happy. I mean, it’s not like she was the best mother. She was by far the worst that any child could have. I know this seems out of place, considering what I have written above. Though that is indeed true. But seems like I have Stockholm. That’s what my friends say. Maybe they are right. Because why would someone love her mother so much after she was beaten black and blue for 28 years by her mother? 

Whether it is Stockholm or genuine love, I don’t know. But I do want to see my mother be happy. Will that be possible? I don’t know. I sure do hope for good times for her. I hope that she gets to go on dates and have the time of her life. I try my best to make her happy, but having a better half cannot be compensated with anything else. 

#life is tough for many

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