The day I became a postgraduate in new media journalism, I decided that I would tell the guy I had a massive crush on, that I was in love with him. He was my ‘movie’ lecturer. Before I go on, that one solid year of new media journalism came with learning the trades of news reading, documentary creation, content creation, and everything related to journalism, which included classes on how to make a movie. That’s how he became my ‘movie’ lecturer.
His name – Vinod.
He was tall, dark, and not handsome. But there was something about him. He was charming in a funny way, and he was scared of me. That’s right. After getting the results of the first test we wrote, I was super upset that he didn’t give me full marks for the brilliant answers I had written. I stormed up to him, and started fighting with him tooth and nail (I’m hyperbolic here), and made sure he gave me a 49/50. Post that, there were times when he would take a movie session, and I would be so engrossed in looking at him, that he would freak out and ask me what’s up with me. He always told me he felt like I was staring at him and plotting his murder. I kind of thought that was funny.
But then the year came to an end, and it was my graduation day. I was hell-bent on making him, my boyfriend. I walked up to him and asked him to join me for lunch. He hesitated but then relented. While we were having dessert, I told him that I had a massive crush on him and inched towards proposing him. He gave me an apologetic smile and said, “I’m married.” What happened post that was a whir of embarrassment. I refused to believe that he was married. He then called out to two of the lecturers in the college and asked them to let me know if he was married or not. They both responded in the affirmative, but I didn’t give in.
I mean, for crying out loud! He didn’t look old at all. I asked him how old he was and he said he was bloody 23!! I was furious. He was obviously lying, and so were the other lecturers. 23 and married, and this was back in 2011…riiiiiight? He attempted to get up and dump his plates, but I didn’t let him. It seemed like he was beginning to get petrified. I tried to make sure he was glued to his seat until I could convince him to go out with me. But that ship didn’t sail. He did manage to convince me that he was not single and that he was married. He showed me his ring, and another lecturer self-invited herself to the conversation and spoke about how he had a love marriage.
I zoned out. It was just like you see in movies (you will hear this line every time I talk about my weird love stories) Everything seemed to be a blur: their voices, faces, and annoying gestures. When I came to in a couple of minutes, I got up and walked away. He was polite enough to follow me and apologized. I graciously accepted his apology, wished him well, and walked away. Away from that college, away from him, and away from the memories I created in my mind of him and me living together.
#Crush No. 4
P.S. The #1 in the title doesn’t indicate that that was the first time I fell in love. It’s just a reference to my first post on the topic of my many crushes. Heeee.