In every angle of life, there is room for improvement. Be it cooking a meal – you could have overcooked it or undercooked it, or added more spices or less. Be it being a supportive friend – you could have said more and got your friend pumped for obstacles or said less so that your friend didn’t feel like a dimwit. You could be attending an interview, where you could have impressed your interviewer with a slew of vocabulary out of the dictionary or knowledge taken off Wikipedia or said less and made it clear that you are not pompous because apparently, less is more.
The fact is that there is always room for improvement. Now the other side of this coin is that whatever you do, you will regret your choices. Sooner or later, you are going to wonder why you made that choice. You will brainstorm and think, why didn’t you give a task your best shot? In a state of thrill, we all think our decision-making capacity is the best. In a state of ennui, you question all the choices you make.
Then from where does the need for room for improvement come? Does it come from a logical frame of mind, feedback from people, or does it arise based on your mood?
Just like you have nightmares, I do too. In the past, it used to be very frequent. But for some reason, my nightmares have reduced drastically. I don’t dream much. Even the good ones have stopped. I used to have beautiful dreams too. It reminds me of how men’s sperm quality goes down as they age. Weird. I know.
At one point, I used to dream every day. These days it’s just darkness as soon as I shut my eyes every night, and the next thing I know, it’s morning. But the one thing that remains constant is my nightmares that have tigers in it. Most of the nightmares I have has to do with tigers chasing me. Some of the tiger dreams are:
- A tiger has been let loose in the locality
- There’s a tiger in my house
- A tiger is chasing me in the snow
- A tiger is trying to enter my home and I am running frantically to shut and seal all entry points of my house.
Earlier, ghosts plagued my nightmares, but of late, it’s tigers. I can’t imagine why.
I am a massive fan of dreammoods. While a lot of people say interpreting dreams is a whole load of shite, I have had my dreams interpreted here, and it mostly made sense, at least 80% of the time. But when it came to trying to figure out why I dream of tigers chasing me or attacking me, I could never find the right interpretation. I mean, I am petrified of animals – no offense to the animal lovers – but I just am. I am scared, shitless. Lions and tigers scare me. The thought of them makes me shudder, but that doesn’t explain my recurring tiger dreams. Trust me; they are horrifying.
Having said that, though, my brother always says that he loves nightmares. Wild, right? He says it’s okay because when he wakes up, he realizes that life is beautiful. Hmm. I guess there are so many ways of interpreting the good and evil.
#makes me wonder
We have people all around us harping about the importance of being positive. If you are down in the dumps, be positive. If you are going through hell at home, be positive. If you don’t have a job, be positive. If you are ill, be positive. If you are struggling at work because your teammates suck, be positive.
But does that work? The answer is a big hard NO.
Even the ones who yak about being positive go through massive phases of negativity. Because that’s what negativity does. It seeps through those little crevices of apprehension and creates havoc. Then gradually hell opens up and your mind is ablaze with self-doubt, loathing, and you know the drill.
So yeah, telling someone to be positive is just not the right thing to say, because you will never know the troubles the person is going through, just as no one will know the hardships you have gone through in life.
For years I have wanted to maintain a blog where I can write what’s on my mind without family tutting at my thoughts. I tried to do so too. I opened blogs on different platforms and tried to keep up with the writing. I gave writing a try many a time but in vain. Not because I was not interested. Simply because I never have time. I hate to sound cliched but it is indeed true that a woman never has time for herself.
There’s so much to do in a day, especially if you are married. Would you agree?
But I have a renewed sense of indignation, where I feel like I need to spare some time for myself and invest in something for myself. After all, this is probably the only place where I can be myself, say what I want, and let go of all inhibitions.
Well, cheers to me!